


i'm not alive until you call

by adashofhope



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, but only because of her crying, michelle cries a lot, michelle may be a little ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 06:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12359460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adashofhope/pseuds/adashofhope
Summary: it's the final fight against the avengers and thanos.somewhere in new york, far away from the battle on the streets, michelle slowly loses her mind over peter. but then it's over, and he breaks a promise.ormichelle worries over peter in infinity war.





	i'm not alive until you call

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this was shit

Michelle looked at the state of her room. There were books all over her bed, her floor, all scattered around in a way that made her want to pull her hair out. Her blankets were cast in the corner of her room, her pillows on her desk chair and her desk cluttered with notes, decathlon spreadsheets, open textbooks, and five different highlighters.

Her laptop was the only thing on her bed, its volume down as it played news footage of the battle going on in Manhattan. Her peppermint tea was long gone, the mug turned over on her wooden floor.

She looked at her room, desperately finding a reason for her to get out.

She took one look at the overturned mug and slammed her computer shut, putting it into her bag and changing into a pair of his sweatpants. She slipped on her coat before walking out of the mess that she knew as her room and into the living room where her mother sat.

The television was on, playing the news and Michelle looked away on instinct and focused on her mother scribbling indecipherable words into her notebook as she talked about something work related on the phone.

Michelle whispered, “I’m going to get some tea and then borrow a book from the library.”

Her mother nodded as she mouthed the words, ‘Be careful.’

Michelle nodded in response and made her way out the front door.

After a train ride of digging her nails a little too roughly into her palms, she arrived at her destination- a little café right next to her favourite vintage library.

She walked up to the counter, “One Peppermint to go, please.”

The teenager behind the counter nodded, flashing a sweet smile at her before accepting her money and telling his co-worker her order.

When they called for her to pick up her order, she found one of the girls behind the counter holding a brown paper bag that smelled heavenly. “Um, you seem a little stressed today. So, my boyfriend and I wanted to give you the chocolate muffin you always order when you’re here, on us.”

Michelle blinked at her before lowering her gaze to the brown paper bag, “I couldn’t let you-“

“Please. It’s our treat. You’re a regular customer, you deserve this,” she protested with a kind smile.

“Thank you.” Michelle nodded, taken by surprise as she retreated to her table in the very back of the café.

She tried to distract herself with a book for a while, but she ended up people-watching when she realised that she was too nervous to read.

She checked the time on her phone frequently, scrolled through Twitter until she was bored, and even contemplated uploading a photo on Instagram- just to see if the people she knew were alive and time wasn’t actually standing still.

When the clock struck five, she dashed out of the café with a smile at the couple behind the counter and headed straight for the library to start her shift.

“Hey, Jan,” she stopped at the counter, greeting the librarian. “Please tell me I’ve got some organizing to do today.”

Jan looked up at her and rested her chin in her hands, “Ooh, I’ve got good and bad news, sweetie.”

Michelle tried not to let the panic settle into her as she forced a smile, “Go on.”

“I do have some organizing for you to do, but it’s in the teen fiction section and you know what that means…” Jan trailed off, a slow smile spreading onto her face.

“…Cheesy romance novels?”

Jan nodded, resulting in Michelle letting out a groan.

“Oh come on, they’re not all that bad.” Jan protested as she watched the teenager drop her bag onto one of the tables.

Michelle gave her a pointed look before disappearing into the shelves to do what she did best when she was spiralling- organization.

* * *

It helped for a while, taking her mind off of things that she really didn’t want to think about. The low buzz of her phone vibrating in her back pocket startled her, making her drop one of the novels onto her lap. She unlocked her phone to be welcomed with a call from her mother.

“Hey, Mom. Everything alright?”

“I’m fine but there’s a full-fledged battle going on in Manhattan between the Avengers and some purple alien guy- I don’t know if you’ve heard about it?” At that, Michelle snorted. Of course, she’d heard about it.

“I know that you’re ok but it’s probably not the safest option to be out on the street right now- what with all the alien tech and the radiation, so I’ve called Jan and she’s letting you stay at the library for the night. No one’s leaving their houses right now and it’s probably really uncomfortable for you but I need you to be safe, ok?”

“I’m fine, mom. I’m right where I want to be,” Michelle tried to sound a little livelier for her mother’s sake. “I mean, staying overnight in a library? You know I’m happy.”

“Well, you just looked a little distraught earlier today. I also made the mistake of walking into you room. I saw the books, honey. You’re stressed.”

“It’s just…all this stuff with the battle and the world possibly ending. I’m fine, mom.”

She wasn’t exactly lying. It was the half-truth.

“I believe you.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t forget to call me or text me if you’re stressed or a little claustrophobic. I know how it gets when you’re cooped up in a place and there’s so much going outside. I’ll be sure to fill you in on all the gossip at the hospital.”

Michelle chuckled softly, “Love you, Mom.”

* * *

 

Beyonce chanting the word ‘flawless’ at 7 am in the morning throughout a quiet, but empty library was something she’d never thought she’d hear.

Michelle removed the books on top of her as she felt around for her phone, her eyes still closed. When she had successfully located it she unlocked it and turned her alarm off.

Deciding that it would wake her up, she scrolled through Twitter mindlessly until a tweet from a news account stopped her.

‘ _The Infinity War’ is over. 17 injured, 5 officially dead. A few ‘Avengers’ are pronounced to be dead though no one has spoken on behalf of the superheroes. Stay tuned for updates._

Michelle called her mom, but no one answered. She must be at the hospital.

Before she could gather what was happening, Michelle found herself scrolling through a text chain with Peter, from a few days ago.

 **peter parkour** : **mj**

**peter parkour: i have to tell you something**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  what is it**

**peter parkour:  there’s no easy way to say it but i have to cuz i may not be coming back ever**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  no wait shut up**

**peter parkour:  lol what????**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  you’re not telling me shit until you come home and you’re safe**

**peter parkour:  michelleeeeee**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  you’re going to come back alive, i know it. i believe in you, loser**

**peter parkour: gee thanks but i may never see you again! don’t you wanna tell me things before i go**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  you’re. not. dying.**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  i won’t allow it. that purple fucking alien can try to pry you from my cold, dead hands.**

**peter parkour:  you’re worried about me aren’t you**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  no**

**peter parkour:  when this whole thing blows over, and the battle is over, let’s meet at the roof of your apartment. if i do show up, then you were right. if i don’t then….well u know**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  ‘m counting on u, parker. don’t flake on me**

**peter parkour:  i’ll be there for u, i promise.**

Michelle reread the text messages again and again, until she had memorized it.

“Hey, sweetie. How you holding up?”

Jan made her tear her gaze from her illuminated phone screen. She placed it on the ground and looked up at the librarian, as she lied, “I’m doing ok. Is it safe to go out yet?”

“It will be in….” Jan looked down at her wristwatch, “a half hour.”

“Ah, I see.” Michelle tried to hide the disappointment on her face.

“So, are you hungry? I’ve got a stash of food around here for emergencies and a fresh cup of coffee.”

Michelle was about to protest when she decided that she was going to be stuck there for another half hour, so why not make the most of it?

After breakfast, she finally rearranged the Teen Fiction section as she reluctantly accepted one of those romance novels from Jan. Finally, she stepped outside and made her way straight home.

30 minutes later, and she was home. She called out for her mother, but there was still no response. Huh, must be a really busy day at the hospital.

That thought made her worry. There was no way that he was….he couldn’t be. Michelle shook the thoughts out of her head and entered her bedroom, immediately being welcomed by the mess she had made a few hours ago due to stress and nerves.

She looked at the window longingly and nervously, before deciding to clean up her room first. There was no way that he was actually out there, so soon after the battle. He’d probably take a few hours.

And that’s how long she took to organize her room, mainly to put off going out on the roof.

Finally, she left the window ajar as she climbed up the fire escape and made her way to the roof. She opened her book and laid it on her lap, hoping that it would distract her but she was too nervous to read.

The question was burning in her mind.

Was he alive?

Minutes passed, and then hours, but he never showed.

Michelle’s fingernails were starting to look damaged from all the nervous chewing she was doing. Suddenly, her phone rang.

Oh God, please be him.

She answered it without a second thought, not even bothering to check the Caller ID, “Peter?”

“Nope, it’s mom. Why are you looking for Peter?”

“No, I was just expecting a call, that’s all.”

“Where are you, by the way?”

“Oh, um, I’m up on the roof, came out here to do a little sketching.”

“Well, come down here. I brought dinner.”

Michelle checked the time, it was nearly 6 pm. She watched as a teardrop escaped her eye and fell onto the fabric of her jeans.

“Right,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. “I’ll be right there.”

“Okay, honey. See you.”

She tried to seem normal at dinner, making conversation about the hospital, and trying so very hard to not let her mind wander off to thinking about Peter. When she had finished clearing the table, she ran into her room and locked the door behind her.

Picking up her phone, she texted Peter immediately.

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  you broke your promise**

He was alive, he had to be. There was no way that he was dead. She would’ve known if he was dead. She stared at her phone for another minute, or so, before deciding to take a shower. She put her phone on the dock and blasted her music at a volume that was loud enough to drown out her thoughts.

MJ wrapped her towel around herself and checked her phone for any new messages or updates on the situation. Still nothing.

She settled for spamming him with texts instead, if his battery was dead or something, he’d probably wake up to it in the morning.

Then, a dangerous thought entered her mind. She was crazy. Peter was dead, and she was still texting him as if nothing had happened.

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  peter**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  you better not have left me**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  you can’t just leave me ALONE, PETER!**

**the hottest person you will ever meet:  please please answer me if you see this**

Great, now she was crazy.

She flung her phone onto her bed in a moment of frustration. After realizing what she had done, she rushed to her bed and picked up her phone.

Just great, the battery was dead.

She didn’t bother charging it. She just got ready for bed and stared up at her ceiling, never noticing the silent tears that were streaming down her face.

* * *

 

The next morning, she woke up to a bunch of tweets confirming her worst nightmare.

Spider-Man, otherwise known as Peter Parker, was dead.

“It’s a shame, he’s dead,” her mother had said absentmindedly when MJ had informed her of the news as she surpressed the foreign urge to cry.

Michelle had never been so angry.

Peter had done so much. She’s watched him dive headfirst into danger, risk his own life to save millions of others, and this is probably how every other citizen of New York had reacted to the news.

She excused herself from breakfast, putting on Peter’s hoodie, and taking a walk outside of her apartment building.

She was on autopilot, at this point, walking around aimlessly, with no fixed destination in mind. Michelle contemplated going back to the café but she knew she couldn’t handle watching the happy teenage couple work together behind the counter.

She was thinking of a place to be at, somewhere where she could just be alone and there wouldn’t be ignorant people who truly didn’t care about Spider-Man’s death when she remembered that she was supposed to be meeting the Decathlon team members at the public library for a mandatory study session.

She felt herself tear up as she thought of what Peter had said to her over the phone when he heard of the meeting.

_“The world possibly ending is not enough of an excuse for you to cancel practice?” he teased._

_“It’s not going to end, loser. I wouldn’t let you miss two weeks of practice for you to just sit by and watch the world end,” she rolled her eyes. “Besides, Barney will have to get through me first, if he thinks he has the right to strategically end the world a month before Nationals.”_

_Peter chuckled on the other end of the line and she could almost hear his soft breathing, “You’re something else, Michelle Jones.”_

_Michelle’s heart fluttered rapidly and she willed for it to stop as she answered, “Ah, you know you love it, loser.”_

_She could hear some shuffling on the other end of the line before he spoke again. “Well, fine, I’ll save the world,” he said in mock reluctance._

_“I hate you.”_

_“You love me.” Peter teased and Michelle held her breath, because maybe she did._

_It got quiet for a second, just the two of them listening to each other’s breathing on the phone._

_“I’ve got to go,” Peter said quietly. “I don’t want to go.”_

_“You’ll be fine. You’re going to save the world and you’ll come home and we’re going to win the Nationals.”_

_“I guess, I’ll see you soon, MJ.”_

_“You will.”_

MJ rolled her eyes at her stupidity as she walked into the library. How was she going to face Ned? She stood at the counter for a while, wiping at her eyes so that no one would suspect anything.

She saw Cindy wave her over to the long table that was currently occupied by her team. Flash glared at her from behind his hands, and Abe waved at her in that cheery way that he always did. Michelle tried to smile, but it probably looked like something was wrong with her face.

Sally lifted an eyebrow at her expression, a form of a silent question and Michelle shook her head slightly, dismissing the other girl’s question as she slowly, but surely, made her way to the table.

She looked around the library, they seemed to be the only ones in the library- which was understandable. Heck, even the librarian was out doing God knows what.

Suddenly, she saw Ned walk towards the table. He looked…normal.

Michelle furrowed her eyebrows. Why did he look normal? She barely expected for Ned to show up, but here he was, as normal and Ned-like as ever.

Then, her answer arrived.

It came in the form of a limping boy, with a bandage around his ankle.

It came in the form of tired eyes, messy brown curls, and jittery fingers tapping against a book he was carrying.

Before Michelle could process what was happening, she felt her legs carrying her across the library, the endless shelves of books passing by in a blur.

He looked up at her, as his name escaped her lips. She could barely register the expression on his face because her legs were already wrapped around his waist.

“Woah,” she felt him chuckle as he hesitantly put his hands below her ass, in an attempt to support her.

Then, something came over her and she smashed her lips against his. Peter stayed still and the whole room went silent but she didn’t care. He was here now and that was all that mattered.

She pulled away and rested her head in the crook of his neck as the tears ran down her face, soaking his shirt, “I thought you were dead.”

She was so overwhelmed by all the emotions she was experiencing that she never noticed the conversation going on behind her as she sobbed into Peter’s neck.

“Wait, did she just…”

“Hell yeah, she did, Sally! I’ve been waiting for them to get together for the longest time!”

“But, Peter never kissed her back.”

“Oh, who cares? He was probably shocked!” Cindy’s peppy but lowered to a whisper voice echoed faintly in her ear but she never paid attention to the whole conversation in the background.

“But, wait, why did she think he was dead?” Flash’s voice appeared.

“Uh, Peter was…interning! He was close to the uh, fight so he could’ve died. You know, being Tony Stark’s intern has some dangers to it!” Ned laughed nervously and she felt Peter let out a relieved sigh against her ponytail.

“Should we…leave them to it?”

“Ugh, we better. I’m out of here, I don’t wanna see these nerds going at it,” Michelle heard the sound of a chair being pushed against the floor and soon, others followed suit.

She refused to let go of Peter, even when the faint clicking of an iPhone camera was heard.

A few minutes later, she stopped crying and Peter gently set her down on the ground.

He sat down, crossed leg, next to her when she looked up at him with worry in her eyes, fearing him leaving her again. “Ok, so why don’t you try to talk to me about what happened?”

MJ sighed.

He was real. His voice was real. He was alive.

“You never showed up to the roof,” she choked out, her eyes becoming glossy again as she relived the pain of sitting on the roof and him never showing up. “You promised.”

Peter softened, “God, I’m so sorry, MJ. I was just-I was just so tired and I forgot about it. Fuck. I would’ve texted you but my phone is somewhere underneath all that rubble in New York.”

Now, she felt silly. She wiped at her eyes with the long sleeves of his jacket, “No, it’s-I’m sorry. I overreacted. I should’ve given you some time.”

“Hey, I would’ve been worried too.”

“No, it’s not just that,” she shook her head. “I just, I saw all these tweets today morning, and people were saying that you were dead and I thought…” she trailed off looking at the floor.

Peter gently tilted her chin upwards, so that she was looking at him, “It’s not your fault, MJ. I’m sorry, I worried you like that.”

“Yeah, but you know, May was probably worried too and you’re probably so tired of dealing with this-“

“There’s nothing else I’d rather do than to be here with you.” Peter said cheesily and she snorted at that.

“I’m sure that’s either a song lyric, a rom-com quote or some quote from a romance novel.”

“…Or, it could be an overrated saying that I actually mean?”

“Eh.”

They sat in silence for a while, Michelle resting her head on his shoulder and Peter placing an arm on the other side of her, almost wrapping his arm around her but, not really.

When she felt his gaze on her, she turned to find him with a bright, red blush on his cheeks, “What?”

“Um, I was wondering,” Peter started. “About that kiss…” he trailed off.

Michelle widened her eyes.

Shit.

She should’ve known that this was going to come back to bite her in the ass.

A million thoughts raced through her mind. How was she going to fix this?

This, this was exactly why Michelle never acted on impulse. Damn Peter for making her react like this. In her defense, she did believe he was dead. Just as she was scrambling for an answer, a retort, anything to get them off this topic, Peter spoke, “Um, can I-can I kiss you?”

Holy crap.

He was close to her, just inches apart. All she had to do was say yes.

Michelle smirked and tackled him to the ground, because, well, she was Michelle, after all. A simple ‘yes’, would not have rattled his cage.

 “I thought you’d never ask.” she smiled.


End file.
